Revision (just discovered the 'Title' bar)

Be sure to check out below as I did re-blog quite quickly after the last one.


Sitting here, pre-occupied about exams, so I feel the best thing I can do for myself is blog.



I just saw and advert for a chewing gum that squirms erratically, but gives you a little more, I refer, of course, to Wrigleys Extra.



The advert itsef involves a young man, going about his day, but being followed by anthropomorphic versions of the food he has consumed though the day; there are a few normal, expected items; fizzy drink, burger, fries... and

an whole onion.

Uncut, not even skinned, and even beginning to sprout. This mushy, mouldy vegetable suggests that at some point he has been so desparate that he has reached to the back of his fridge, past that coagualted milk, around the reanimated beef (both disregarded for being that bit to alive to eat), to the forest that is a three week old bulb.

But just as he finishes his gourmet meal, he remembers he lives only two doors down from a Mcdonalds and embarks on a mission for a more normal route to nutrition, if the aformentioned fast food outlet can be so called 'nutrition'.

I was thinking mabye his friends might have reminded him of his proximity to a take away, but would you befriend someone with such a ridiculous quirk that they would consume such thing for such little reward, then again, we all have our skeletons in the closet, personally I like to smell washing up powder, the

essence of pure clean

excites my inner neat freak. Does it compare?

No.

But I'm just trying to make him feel better about his social-less situation.

:)

Nothing to loose

Means nothing but gain.

A solid idea.

Last entry I mentioned at the end receiving a bathing idea, but I'm beginning to doubt the practicality of it, you see, the idea was to

bathe in jelly;

that is, to fill the bath with quite warm water, dissolve enough gelitin so it might eventually set, then wait, as the plain flavour pudding solidifies around me.

Desite this pretty much gauranteeing a result this time, my primary fear is disposal. With fizzy water you can just pull the plug; with jelly I doubt I will even be able to do that, let alown it having any effect. If i was to re-dissolve it, could it potentially re-solidify in my plumbing, a job I think even Mr Muscle might struggle with.

Secondly, I have no ideas of the quantities involved, which ties in with financial cost, temparatures needed and time taken; for all I know, a bath sized mould could take days to set at room temparature.

I will research, but I doubt the feasability of this project, however fun it would be ;)

:)

You were born a winner

You were the fastest sperm

BOOM!

And there we have it, an explosion of all things socially inept as I attempt to break down well established communication barriers by

talking to people.

Although you would think that noone wants to have a conversation with anyone these days ("THESE DAYS"! Makes me sound like I've got something else to compare this global social misdemeanor with!) because we are so used to conversing via a computer, on the phone or by text that we can allow ourselves to develop a phenomenon very similar to road rage, lets call it

"Infobahn Infuriation".

With road rage, the sufferer feels as though they can shout and scream and swear at another driver all they like because they just see the car, and fail to make the connection to the person driving it; as with infobahn infuriation, where one might cross a line because, even though (with instant messaging) they see a picture of the person they are conversing with, they still sit back to see a computer and may even psychologically detatch themselves further because it is

their computer,

allowing someone to cause themselves more significant alienation. I'm not saying that the social networking revolution is a bad thing, in fact, quite the opposite; I just think that, in the immortal words of Ali G, we should

"Keep it real. Init."

However, in order to talk to real people, face-2-face, you must first geographically locate and track them, I do this by walking cliff paths at night; very rarely proves fruitful, but when you do find someone under these circumstances, they have to be interesting. The other night, I stumbled across a group of people hudled around a bright white light while an individual buzzed around them with a metal box in his hands, attatched to headphones, so I enquired as to their some what uncoventional night time activities and discovered they were, in fact

nature nerds,

yes, the type of people who sit around in pubs, dripping forest water into their warm ale and talking about how many different type of beatle lavae they'd seen. Only this time it was moths they were after, and getting way too excited about it for my liking. What they were doing was using bright white light to attract the moths then recording the species (fun stuff...). Now, I'm not a big nature-ist by anyones standards, but I felt like I had to

stick up for the poor moth

here because the reason its attracted to the light is that they navigate using the moon so any unnatural source of light will

confuse, captive and 'trap' them,

and if there's one thing I'm good at its metaphore, so I explained that if a moth only lives for 4 days, tops, and you compare that to good human life of 80 years, thats 20 years a day, which makes each moth hour about 300 human days, therefore, each minute they are 'trapped' is the equivalent of 5 days lost, just so some geek can peer down his nose and, in that nasally tone, quote:

"Oooh, thats, interestingly, different from the other one..."

In human terms its like being completely lost and relying entirely upon your satnav, but instead of pointing you to the destination you punched in, its taking you on a wild goose chase altered by a god who just wants to see if you're the same as the rest, but not just for a few hours, no, almost a week of driving around and around until finally you are put back on the right path.

I didn't make many friends that night.

Anyways,

Update: I recieved an email from a Ms. Sophie Davies (insisted on a name drop), who suggested something to bathe in that might yeild a result with interesting consequences... I will elaborate further in a future post. Stay tuned.

:)

Stand up, get out

And make the world your own!

I did it.



It took a sum total of no planning, £5 and three willing friends to finally perform something I've been wanting to do since I first found out how cheap fizzy water can be.



This evening I, Fred Cooper, took a

bath in carbonated water.

The logistics where considerably more complex than a standard bath. Firstly, aquisition and transportation of the fluid; its had enough carting a trolley wheighing some 100kg in and out of clothes racks without every other person who sees you asking if you're

'feeling particularly thirsty?'

That said, what else would one ordinarily be expected to do with sparkling water? Once the boot of the car was loaded it looked as if someone had eaten themself to death, but just before they'd swallowed that

final fatal finger of fatty food,

they had climbed inside my car and positioned themselves pefectly over my rear axle so everytime I hit a bump the wheels would hit the arches making a noise loud enough to wake them from their eternal slumber. When we finally got the water home the task became getting all 50 bottles up to my first floor flat. So began the

human chain of transportation;

Edward, Dan and Rob unloaded 5 bottles a time and brought them to the lift, dumping them in a box, strategically placed to stop the doors closing, upon which I took and organised them into neat rows. The lift, clearly showing the strain,

groaned its way to my floor,

where, as the doors opened, I found Dan on his knees as the first link in the chain to my apartment. The bottles flew along the floor from me in the lift, to Dan at the first door, to Edward in the corner, to Rob in my doorway then straight into the bathroom. All was going smoothly, but then, with just 8 bottles to go;

"STOP!"

shouted Rob. The rest of us ran to see. It was like a busy town square, full of people, had been flooded with knock out gas; except instead of a busy town square it was my bathroom and instead of people it was bottles of water, and instead of knock out gas it was Rob inability to keep pace. The floor now littered with plastic,

we made our way to the bath,

carrying the remaining 8 bottles between us. In retrospect we probably should have been more careful opening the bottles considering the journey they had taken to get there, but after the wreckless opening of the first bottle soaked us all, it really became a free for all with us successfully opening and emptying all the bottles in under 3 minutes. With the bath now filled, we were cleared for launch. I stripped down to my swim shorts and slowly lowered myself in... I would love to say that I found a new way to clense your pores and rejuvinate your skin in a

budget jacuzzi,

but unfortunatly I can't. The only thing that was different about it was that the water felt significantly less dense than usual, which felt weird at first, but once your in, your in, it quickly became bathing in cold water, in my trunks, with my friends watching, which, in all honesty, I cannot recommend.

I did not have a directional expectation for this experiment, what I really wanted was to be suprised, and I just wasn't. What this has taught me, however, is that I am willing to try alot of new things, provided they have limited financial implications, mainly wholly or partly submerging myself in a fluid, I do have some ideas buzzing around, but I shall keep those for another time. In the mean time, if you have any ideas of large quantities of liquid I can aquire at a relatively low cost, or just for anything fun to consider, leave a comment or

e-mail me

at Fred@HarrisonandCooper.com. Plesent dreams.

:)

This is your life

Live it to your standards

Ok, so another midnight post, I know one can get

addicted

to this sort of 'writing your thoughts and pretending everyone is reading' thing, but I had another one of those things... a thought, and if I don't write these "things" down they will be lost in swathe of

psychological wank.

Then again, I say that like this particular thought is of any sort of validity.

As I was walking though Tesco's this evening I noticed that the value fizzy water is cheaper than the still (10 and 13 pence respectively), and thats for 2 litres. Having noticed this, my first thought was that

my bath

is about 50 litres, thats the equivalent of 25 bottles, at 10 pence each thats only £2.50 to fill my bath with fizzy water.

My curiosity has got the best of me.

I now feel motivated enough to empty my car of all the rubbish in my boot and buy these 25 bottles of fizzy water and fill my bath, I'm almost excited at the prospect of bathing in carbonated aqua! However, I have thought of

a problem

that may occur. It is my understanding that the reason the carbon dioxide is released from champagne is tiny specs of

dirt

in the glass, so I can assume it is the same for fizzy water and the dirt/creases on my skin, only on a much larger scale, hence over flowing the bath. But I will cross that bridge when I get to it.

I am actually going to do this, so check back in soon and I will update you on exactly what its like.

:)

Don't try to fit in.

They will come to you.

Ok, its 1 in the morning so I feel the best thing to do is Blog.

Cookie Crisp has lost alot of its appeal lately since it almost became a staple part of my diet since I'm on my 3rd box in as many weeks

SO

I'm sat at my computer eating a bowl of my latest favourite cereal treat: Curiously Cinnamon, but I'm finding it difficult overcoming the name of it:

Curiously Cinnamon

doesn't make sense to me, surely it should be Curiously Cinnamon-y, or Cinnamon flaovoured, or Cinnamon like; but that would disrupt the object in the title so they really should look to change the adjective, my thoughts are either Curious, to personify the Cinnamon, or Curiousity Cinnamon to suggest it might be worth investigating. Then again

"A Rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Juliet Capulet

I digress.

Cookie Crisp is fundamentaly pleasant and, by taking advantage of its availability (to purchase at my leisure), I have proven to myself that I can have to much of a good thing, but not to excess, just to the stage at which the object

becomes normalised

and I recognise its transition from the former novelty stage and leave it in plain view to tempt me, like the Devil to jesus, it becons me, but I shall continue to tread though my desert of Curiously Cinammon until I feel Cookie Crisp has re-assertained its position in the novelty stratosphere.

:)

Why fear the unknown?

When you can conquer it!