BOOM!

And there we have it, an explosion of all things socially inept as I attempt to break down well established communication barriers by

talking to people.

Although you would think that noone wants to have a conversation with anyone these days ("THESE DAYS"! Makes me sound like I've got something else to compare this global social misdemeanor with!) because we are so used to conversing via a computer, on the phone or by text that we can allow ourselves to develop a phenomenon very similar to road rage, lets call it

"Infobahn Infuriation".

With road rage, the sufferer feels as though they can shout and scream and swear at another driver all they like because they just see the car, and fail to make the connection to the person driving it; as with infobahn infuriation, where one might cross a line because, even though (with instant messaging) they see a picture of the person they are conversing with, they still sit back to see a computer and may even psychologically detatch themselves further because it is

their computer,

allowing someone to cause themselves more significant alienation. I'm not saying that the social networking revolution is a bad thing, in fact, quite the opposite; I just think that, in the immortal words of Ali G, we should

"Keep it real. Init."

However, in order to talk to real people, face-2-face, you must first geographically locate and track them, I do this by walking cliff paths at night; very rarely proves fruitful, but when you do find someone under these circumstances, they have to be interesting. The other night, I stumbled across a group of people hudled around a bright white light while an individual buzzed around them with a metal box in his hands, attatched to headphones, so I enquired as to their some what uncoventional night time activities and discovered they were, in fact

nature nerds,

yes, the type of people who sit around in pubs, dripping forest water into their warm ale and talking about how many different type of beatle lavae they'd seen. Only this time it was moths they were after, and getting way too excited about it for my liking. What they were doing was using bright white light to attract the moths then recording the species (fun stuff...). Now, I'm not a big nature-ist by anyones standards, but I felt like I had to

stick up for the poor moth

here because the reason its attracted to the light is that they navigate using the moon so any unnatural source of light will

confuse, captive and 'trap' them,

and if there's one thing I'm good at its metaphore, so I explained that if a moth only lives for 4 days, tops, and you compare that to good human life of 80 years, thats 20 years a day, which makes each moth hour about 300 human days, therefore, each minute they are 'trapped' is the equivalent of 5 days lost, just so some geek can peer down his nose and, in that nasally tone, quote:

"Oooh, thats, interestingly, different from the other one..."

In human terms its like being completely lost and relying entirely upon your satnav, but instead of pointing you to the destination you punched in, its taking you on a wild goose chase altered by a god who just wants to see if you're the same as the rest, but not just for a few hours, no, almost a week of driving around and around until finally you are put back on the right path.

I didn't make many friends that night.

Anyways,

Update: I recieved an email from a Ms. Sophie Davies (insisted on a name drop), who suggested something to bathe in that might yeild a result with interesting consequences... I will elaborate further in a future post. Stay tuned.

:)

Stand up, get out

And make the world your own!