I did it.



It took a sum total of no planning, £5 and three willing friends to finally perform something I've been wanting to do since I first found out how cheap fizzy water can be.



This evening I, Fred Cooper, took a

bath in carbonated water.

The logistics where considerably more complex than a standard bath. Firstly, aquisition and transportation of the fluid; its had enough carting a trolley wheighing some 100kg in and out of clothes racks without every other person who sees you asking if you're

'feeling particularly thirsty?'

That said, what else would one ordinarily be expected to do with sparkling water? Once the boot of the car was loaded it looked as if someone had eaten themself to death, but just before they'd swallowed that

final fatal finger of fatty food,

they had climbed inside my car and positioned themselves pefectly over my rear axle so everytime I hit a bump the wheels would hit the arches making a noise loud enough to wake them from their eternal slumber. When we finally got the water home the task became getting all 50 bottles up to my first floor flat. So began the

human chain of transportation;

Edward, Dan and Rob unloaded 5 bottles a time and brought them to the lift, dumping them in a box, strategically placed to stop the doors closing, upon which I took and organised them into neat rows. The lift, clearly showing the strain,

groaned its way to my floor,

where, as the doors opened, I found Dan on his knees as the first link in the chain to my apartment. The bottles flew along the floor from me in the lift, to Dan at the first door, to Edward in the corner, to Rob in my doorway then straight into the bathroom. All was going smoothly, but then, with just 8 bottles to go;

"STOP!"

shouted Rob. The rest of us ran to see. It was like a busy town square, full of people, had been flooded with knock out gas; except instead of a busy town square it was my bathroom and instead of people it was bottles of water, and instead of knock out gas it was Rob inability to keep pace. The floor now littered with plastic,

we made our way to the bath,

carrying the remaining 8 bottles between us. In retrospect we probably should have been more careful opening the bottles considering the journey they had taken to get there, but after the wreckless opening of the first bottle soaked us all, it really became a free for all with us successfully opening and emptying all the bottles in under 3 minutes. With the bath now filled, we were cleared for launch. I stripped down to my swim shorts and slowly lowered myself in... I would love to say that I found a new way to clense your pores and rejuvinate your skin in a

budget jacuzzi,

but unfortunatly I can't. The only thing that was different about it was that the water felt significantly less dense than usual, which felt weird at first, but once your in, your in, it quickly became bathing in cold water, in my trunks, with my friends watching, which, in all honesty, I cannot recommend.

I did not have a directional expectation for this experiment, what I really wanted was to be suprised, and I just wasn't. What this has taught me, however, is that I am willing to try alot of new things, provided they have limited financial implications, mainly wholly or partly submerging myself in a fluid, I do have some ideas buzzing around, but I shall keep those for another time. In the mean time, if you have any ideas of large quantities of liquid I can aquire at a relatively low cost, or just for anything fun to consider, leave a comment or

e-mail me

at Fred@HarrisonandCooper.com. Plesent dreams.

:)

This is your life

Live it to your standards